We've all experienced our fair share of relationships (romantic, friendships, family, co-workers) that have not been successful. One of the many reasons why some of our relationships are not successful is because we tend to place the value of the relationship on the traits of another person. For example, when searching for a romantic relationship, we tend to create a list of traits I like to call the "Prince/Princess Charming" list. This usually begins with traits such as attactiveness, financial stability, family-oriented, educated, funny...the list goes on. Unfortunately, what this list of traits ulttimately does is place the responsibility of our needs being met by the desired traits of another person, rather than place the energy around what we actually need, want and desire in a relationship.
Several years of guiding many clients have allowed me to finally hone in on an exercise for attracting what you actually need, want and desire in a relationship, rather than creating a fictional person (Prince/Princess Charming) with a list of traits. This process was originally created for attracting a potentional love partner, but it is also viable as a tool for creating any relationship that is worthy of your Higher Self. You will be focusing on YOU and not placing your energies to create another person.
LOVE GARDEN
Please read the entire process prior to beginning.
You may want to take a moment to recognize what you love about yourself. I recommend making a list of at least 10 things (can be anything) that you love about yourself (See related blog posts: "10 Things I Love About Me" and "Radiating From Within").
You will also need to be gentle with yourself and not focus on things you do not want or need in a relationship (past hurts).
Keep in mind that this is a process. It requires patience, a sense of centeredness, and a desire to attract energy to yourself that is in your highest level of being.
SUPPLIES and accommodations you will need:
· At least two pieces of paper or a journal
· Pen, pencil, drawing pencils or pens
· A quiet, comfortable space without distraction (turn off your phone and any other electronic devices).
Step One:
Make sure you are in a quiet place without distraction.
Take a few deep breaths and get yourself centered. Focus on your heart and breathing.
Free your mind from any outside distractions.
Continue to breathe as you focus on how you are feeling.
Envision yourself feeling very safe, warm, and content.
Take a few more deep breaths and focus your attention on revealing how you wish to FEEL while you are in a relationship (romantic, friendship, family, etc.). Focus on what is important to you.
Step Two:
While you are centered, envision a beautiful garden and write down any words or images that reveal themselves to you regarding your NEEDS, DESIRES, and WANTS in a relationship. You will want to focus on all aspects (physical, mental, emotional, spiritual). Try not to censor any of these thoughts or images as they can appear as anything from the word integrity to the image of foot massages (Examples: Trust, unconditional love, hand holding, monogamy, open communication, devotion, faith).
Ditch the list of traits you seek in another person and focus on YOUR needs and wants. Romantically, you want to ditch the “Prince/Princess Charming list” that places the energy around another person, and focus on the energy you would like to draw toward yourself.
Step Three:
On a separate piece of paper:
Continue to imagine a garden and how you wish to feel in a relationship.
Begin to draw the garden you envisione and include the NEEDS, WANTS and DESIRES you wrote. Additional wants, needs, and desires may appear to you - this is okay. For example, a tree could represent strength and stability; a flower could represent beauty and compassion.
Take your time and FEEL the energies you wish to attract to yourself. For example, how does stabilty feel? How does beauty feel? How does unconditional love feel?
Be patient. Feel and Envision light surrounding you and the energies you wish to have during your time in a relationship.
Step Four:
Keep in mind that you may attract the occasional “weed” into your garden as a reminder of traits that no longer serve you or your Higher Self.
Revisit and Revise your LOVE GARDEN whenever you feel you are no longer focusing on yourself and your needs, wants, and desires. This is about you and attracting energies toward you that meet your needs, wants, and desires.
Note: you may feel inclined to place a fence or hedges around your garden. If this occurs, be sure to leave a gate or opening in the garden that allows for someone to enter.
Remember to feel the energies of your needs, wants, and desires around you as you go about your daily life. You will need to be open to receiving the energies you have manifested.
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